He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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