She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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