You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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