I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
