Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
