you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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