Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
