Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
