So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
