He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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