This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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