Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
