I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish i was in the wii world.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
