that's an acceptable place to lick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
