You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
