Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize