I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
