Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
love makes seman taste better
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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