I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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