he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
do nipples grow back?
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