so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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