i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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