here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
