OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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