my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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