if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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