Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think your dad took our porno
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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