Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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