It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
