Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
