exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
