# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Farmville is her only friend.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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