Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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