Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
