This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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