I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
