i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
