Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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