I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
