I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
