Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES