and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
