just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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