i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He better not be in your backpack
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Never underestimate the power of titties
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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