Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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