sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
