How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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