I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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