you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
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They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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