I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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