It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.