Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

(615): View more from Tennessee

She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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(305): View more from Florida

If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?

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(301): View more from Maryland

Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life

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(218): View more from Minnesota

My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.

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(602): View more from Arizona

How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.

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