Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
