you suck at this game today
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not