All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
