I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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