Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3899) Bad night (677)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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  (405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm
  Replies (27) Good night (534) Bad night (3281)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

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  (662): neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe http://tfl.nu/zrqw
  Replies (7) Good night (4444) Bad night (553)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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  (321): low key just jizzed in a chinese food container http://tfl.nu/tufb
  Replies (7) Good night (727) Bad night (3730)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself

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  (401): Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself http://tfl.nu/jjur
  Replies (35) Good night (831) Bad night (3385)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

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  (908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?! http://tfl.nu/h7d0
  Replies (20) Good night (7926) Bad night (988)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.

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  (321): Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever. http://tfl.nu/nab2
  Replies (10) Good night (2910) Bad night (785)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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  (269): I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals http://tfl.nu/d194
  Replies (4) Good night (2526) Bad night (921)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america

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  (302): Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america http://tfl.nu/uvbf
  Replies (23) Good night (1649) Bad night (4906)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter

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  (330): I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter http://tfl.nu/ep47
  Replies (7) Good night (3256) Bad night (1080)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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  (217): 4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket http://tfl.nu/mc6u
  Replies (11) Good night (1942) Bad night (633)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (565)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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  (501): He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit. http://tfl.nu/208i
  Replies (10) Good night (1538) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual

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  (937): Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual http://tfl.nu/83u7
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (472)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?

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  (319): I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg? http://tfl.nu/atqw
  Replies (5) Good night (843) Bad night (412)

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