I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize