I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
