you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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