is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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