then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
