How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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