come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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