I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize