My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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