are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
