I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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