If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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