we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
